Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize