you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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