and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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