Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
