Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize