she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
