I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
