Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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