Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
