can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
