he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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