3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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