Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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