Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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