If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
