Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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