sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
