I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Operation Purity has been aborted
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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