chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
