So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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