I need help removing her.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
