need another drink. this is the easiest way
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
