There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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