Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
