There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
