I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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