I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
