I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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