If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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