Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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