Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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