Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
