why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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