Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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