Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My dick has a subreddit
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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