YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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