...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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