after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
