So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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