Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
