do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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