I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
