I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize