I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
