I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
