If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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