Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
