fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize