he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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