never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
