I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
