dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
