Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
