two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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