what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
