It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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