the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
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on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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