youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
